This week’s question has to do with why recruiters ask about salary requirements so early in the process and how you answer when they ask.  I am a “just lay it all out there” kind of girl as you’ll see from my answer.  You can view all of the previous questions and answers here.

Subscribers may have to click through…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAc3Py_Jwd8

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A common frustration from the unemployed is that they feel that recruiters unfairly judge them because they were laid off and have been unemployed, some for long periods of time.  There really isn’t a way I can play this out in scenario form, but if I may, I’d like to offer some advice to both sides.

First let me say that I believe the majority of recruiters understand that times are tough.  I believe that the majority of us get that there are a ton of people out of work, through no fault of their own and have been trying to get back into the workplace for some time now.  The majority of recruiters, HR pro’s and hiring managers get it.  But there is always a minority…..

To the group who feels negatively about unemployed job seekers or attaches some unfair stigma to them (like they are unemployed because they are lazy) I make this plea.  Knock it off.  Hundreds of thousands of job seekers are unemployed because they were laid off.  Entire departments were eliminated so their performance had nothing to do with it.  Companies went under and every single person on the payroll received a pink slip.  Assuming that the unemployed must have had performance issues is ridiculous.  Also, if they have been unemployed for a long time, it is not because they are lazy.  It is likely because they have been passed over for employed people, less expensive people or a myriad of other reasons.  Stop asking them what they have been doing for the past six months…..THEY HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A JOB.

To the job seeker I would ask you to re-read the second paragraph.  The majority of us get it and do not disqualify you for being unemployed.  Do not let one bad apple dampen your spirits or delay your continued job search efforts.  I know it’s tough, but you have to keep doing what you are doing to land a job.  I do strongly encourage all job seekers to volunteer, join a committee or group, do something that fills a little of your time, keeps you sharp and gives you a resounding answer to the “what have you been doing for the past six months question”  even though I’m hoping people will stop asking you.

I don’t want to sound too Pollyanna, but it’s going to take all of us working together to get this thing turned around….

Balanced Perspectives is a weekly series playing out scenarios from a recruiter and job seeker perspective.  If you have a scenario or question you would like answered regarding the job search, please leave it here.

On Tuesday’s B is home with me.  He is 27 months and a total boy.  He is in to everything and since he is used to having friends to play with the other four days of the week, he wants the same from mommy.  Unfortunately, I can not take Tuesday’s completely off so I am instituting a schedule as of today!

He is on a pretty good schedule already as far as wake, eating and nap times go, but it’s all the in between times that seem to get a little crazy on Tuesdays.  We both end up frustrated and unhappy which completely goes against the reason I keep him home with me one day a week.  So I have my schedule for every hour of today mimicking what he experiences in daycare as closely as I can.  It is a perfect mix of mommy and son time versus son plays alone time so mommy can get a few things done – on paper.  I’ll have to let you know how it goes.

Here’s my question for you.  Are you a schedule person or do you like to just wing it?  If you set a schedule, do you keep it?  I am a mix of both.  For the most part I like a schedule, but I often get side tracked and end up winging it.  Do you write your schedule down or just have it in your head?

I’d love to hear from you.  Oh and if you want to get in touch with me today, you should try between 12:30-3:00

Two weeks ago after reading one of the Balanced Perspectives posts, one of my readers sent me an email to ask why I often used the fact that recruiters were busy as explanations for why they couldn’t get back to a candidate or follow up in a timely manner or review a Linkedin profile to see if they had any openings.  She had a point.  As I re-read every post, I did talk about how busy recruiters were in nearly every one and inadvertently used that as an excuse for their (our) behavior.

I cringed when I realized this.  I worked with a woman for years who we dubbed the “I’m so busy” lady because no matter what question we asked her, she would start telling us how busy she was.

“How are you today?”  ”Oh I’m so busy….”
“How did the meeting go?”  ”Oh I’m just so busy…”
“How is your coffee this morning?”  ”Oh I’m just really busy…”

It was annoying to us then and I can imagine how annoying it must be to job seekers to hear over and over how busy the recruiters are.  So I apologize and vow not to use those words as excuses again.

We use that perfect scapegoat a lot though don’t we.  It is like the perfect little excuse for treating someone else with less than 100% respect.

“Sorry I didn’t call you back, I’m just so busy.”
“Sorry I missed that deadline, things are just really busy right now.”
“I’m going to need to cancel that meeting for the fourth time, I’m just too busy.”
“Sorry I forgot to pick you up from school honey, mommy’s just super busy right now.”

You get my drift.  It is our go to reason for not getting it all done.  Dare I say, it isn’t a good one.  The more I think about it, the more I share my reader’s frustration.  We are all busy.  Each and every one of us.  Whether we have a job or not, work full time or part time, work from home or an office, we are all busy.  Can we agree to stop using it as our go to reason for not getting things done.  If we are truly too busy to do the right thing by each other, then lets fix the issue, not expect others to just accept it.

Agree?

I feel the need to preface today’s post with a little back story.  My mother grew up in a very unhappy home.  While she was never physically abused, other siblings were and they all took verbal abuse every single day from an alcoholic step father. Some of my mother’s siblings took this life experience and turned it into a desire to be a people pleaser, never rocking the boat for fear of repercussion. They hated confrontation and yelling so they never swam against the current or stood up for what they believed in as to keep the peace. My mother went in another direction. At a very early age she determined that while she may not be able to fight back at home, no one else was going to treat her that way. Anyone else who wanted to yell or pick a fight with my mom certainly got one. She was determined to never be bullied by anyone else in her life. Her motto: I don’t need to start any fights and never will, but I will certainly finish them. And where the story gets relevant for our purposes is that she instilled that into her oldest daughter from a very young age.

To say that I am comfortable with confrontation would be an understatement. I could recount story after story of someone trying to bully me and my mom saying that I would be in more trouble if I didn’t fight back than if I did. She would have grounded me for life if I ever started a fight, but boy had I better finish it! When I was in kindergarten a 5th grader on the bus was trying to take my snack money. He quickly learned that I was more scared of mom then I was of him. I was never bullied on the bus again.

Now please know that I am not talking about physical fights.  I have never been in a physical altercation although if I were, I assure you I would still fight to the death.  Another quick momism for you: when asked about physical fights that she had and how she handled herself when the person was bigger or stronger than her, my mom would say, “Hey, I don’t have to win and they may beat me down, but they will know that I was there.”

I tell you all of this to make this point.  As HR professionals we are faced with confrontational situations often.  It could be an employee relations issue that turns ugly, a termination that nearly turns violent or just a hearty disagreement between peers sitting around the ever elusive “table”.  We must become comfortable with confrontation.

We make confrontation an ugly thing and certainly to use the term fight does make it more aggressive.  I don’t think it has to be that way though.  I talk a lot about framing information.  I firmly believe that confrontations do not have to be ugly or turn into an all out brawl.  They have to happen though.  You can not be in business or be a successful leader while avoiding them.

It’s become a fun part of my business that I didn’t intend for but love doing it.  Going on consultations for one problem and finding out that proper communication is all they really need.  I help them frame information in a way others can hear it and get out.    Maybe there’s a spin off biz in there somewhere:)

What do you think?  As a profession are HR peeps comfortable with confrontation or do they avoid it like the plague?  Is confrontation necessary and healthy?  I would love your thoughts.

If you have been a job seeker for more than five minutes you have heard people talk about the importance  of networking and getting the all powerful referral.  This played out in real life a few weeks ago with a client of mine so I wanted to show you how this works.

This particular client needed a temporary recruiter to work with her for about 6 months.  I presented several candidates which she interviewed and narrowed it down to two, we’ll call them Judy and Darcy.  While both candidates were strong, she kept leaning towards Judy through the entire process.  She brought both in for face to face interviews with herself and a few of the hiring managers.  Even through all of this she was convinced that she would be making an offer to Judy.

She quickly changed her mind when the last hiring manager to walk into the room to interview Darcy recognized her from a previous job.  He had worked with Darcy before and gave her glowing reviews.  In the end, and because of this previous connection, Darcy was offered the position.

On paper both of these candidates were equal in experience.  Through the initial process, Judy’s personality seemed to be a better fit.  It wasn’t that Darcy’s personality was bad, just that she was a little more reserved and the hiring manager felt she needed someone outgoing.  Judy was the front runner the entire time until that past connection was uncovered and a glowing referral was given.

Recruiters and hiring managers take risks every time they hire someone.  A person who looks great on paper and interviews well may or may not turn out to be what they thought.  If they can mitigate that risk through a referral, someone who has seen this person in action, that will trump the interview process nearly every time.

So you see it is definitely true that networking and referrals are crucial in today’s job search.  Now Darcy did not know she had a connection in the building, she got lucky.  Had she known from the very beginning however and used that connection from the get go, there would have probably never have been an interview process.

Network like crazy.  Get back in touch with former co-workers, supervisors, vendors, consultants – anyone who has seen you in action and leverage that any time you can.  When interviewing for a company, do your research to see who you know that may work there and use that to your advantage.  The referral really is a powerful tool in a job seekers tool belt.

As a job search coach I get a ton of requests from video resume or video interviewing companies for me to push their services. While I have certainly listened to a few pitches, I haven’t found one to hang my hat on just yet. I think that video resumes and interviewing are great and will be used more as time goes on, but I always felt like each service was lacking something to make it really catch fire.

I am absolutely intrigued by Spark Hire and the service they provide. Susan and I met them at IHRIM and since they are also in Chicago, I will be digging into them a little deeper. For now, you can catch this quick video with their CEO. Check out their website and then give me your 1st impression in the comments. I would love your thoughts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTQNgGsKuDM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdAtUItuQqs

There was no shortage of naysayers in this session and one woman in particular captured my attention. At nearly every suggestion Jamie had for trying to embrace social media she would shake her head. He said the words “decentralize” and I thought her head was going to roll right off her shoulders. She turned to her co-worker and angrily said, “Absolutely not!” before Jamie could even explain why.

Jamie made great points about change and how it really isn’t hard, it’s part of life. I completely agree with him. The only time change is hard is when we are so completely resistant that we get left behind and alone in our way of thinking.

Just some thoughts for now…..more to come!

So if money is the root of all evil, then I’m going to go out on a limb and say insecurity is a close second.  We are plagued with it every single day and it makes us do crazy things.  We doubt ourselves and our abilities.  We lash out at others in an effort to make ourselves feel better about…ourselves.  We emulate this proud, confident, got it all together person on the outside to mask the insecurity we feel on the inside.  Or is that just me?

This has really been on my brain lately as I’ve talked to person after person whose problems could be summed up in one word – insecurity.  Yesterday, I got to spend some time with my good friend Tracey and we talked about this statement made in a study we are doing together.  The speaker is focused on women, but I’m sure the feelings translate to anyone.

“One of the hardest things about being a woman is feeling you are too much and not enough at the same time.”

Brilliant!  No matter how amazing things are going in my business, if my house is dirty, I feel like a failure.  I can have a rocking mom day where I feel like I have met every single one of my kids needs to the fullest and feel pretty good about myself one second and then look at that pile of laundry and think that it isn’t enough in the next.  There was a great article last week about how Pinterest and blogs and Facebook etc can make you feel like less of a person because you see what others are doing and feel like you can’t keep up.  Insecurity.

I have to be completely honest here and say that I wish I knew a solution, but this is one area that plagues my life every single day.  I will never be smart enough, strong enough, funny enough, thin enough, pretty enough and on and on it goes.  About the only thing I concede is that I’m tall enough – only because I had nothing to do with that (and you can’t really deny it when you are 5’9 and like high heels).  So I have no answers, but wanted to see what others thought.  I would love to get your thoughts on the following…

1. Is insecurity a common problem?
2. Does it affect one population more than the other?  Gender, race, age, upbringing?
3. What are some effective ways to overcome?

I did find this article that has some pretty good tips, but for me they are all easier said than done so I really want to hear from you!  What do you think?